I want too much

I will begin this post by saying Probably.

I will Probably not be able to do everything i want to do before i bite the dust. I want to do too much, I think. Maybe that is why I'm almost never home to be with my boyfriend; i work all the time to be able to do something, Anyting(!) , since everything cost money. Money I/we don't have, sadly. But we tell ourselves everyday; We WILL have a better life. Someday... Someday we will be able to go visit my family in the US, and the one on the island. We can't even afford doing that, and thats not even far away from where we live. For now, we have to settle with Alex's family. Nothing wrong with them, of course not. It's just not my own family. I am glad Alex's family is closer than my families. Because then Alex's doesn't have to miss them as much as i miss all of my family memebers. Sometimes it is really tough. The "missing" of them always hits me with the worst timing ever; At work mostly. I believe why that is, is because it is the time of a day I think and reflect the most. At the store it is because.. well frankly there is basically nothing there to do. I just stand there and if im lucky a costumer comes in so i can say hello to someone at least. And, at the dance studio because it remindes me of when i was younger. When my parents always took me to my dance classes. When i was the girl, standing in the middle, often times to the right of the teacher, trying my best to learn, trying my best to be the best. The girl who performed in every dance show she could get in to, because she loved it and her parents where there to cheer her on, to tell her they were proud of her. Every Time. Until she decided to move to the US for a year. I was that girl i see everytime I go to the studio to teach. I see her in so many different faces. It is my turn to find these girls to teach them everything i have to teach, and maybe someday they will become the dancer i wanted to be. The dancer who gets to go on stage and do her best, to be the best, and loves it. I still want to be that dancer. I want one more shot to be that dancer. Well, honestly i havent really had a shot of being her to begin with. After I graduated I was thrown in to be a dance teacher. It was not by choice, not at all.
Sure, i have all the basics to be a great teacher. I'm sure i could be great with what i've learned so far. The problem is that I Do Not Have Any Passion for teaching. I dont wanna do this... However, I Have A Great Passion for being the student. I love getting critic, because then i know what i should work on. If i am the teacher, i will not learn. I will not be/ever become the girl that tries her best, to be the best.


I guess what im trying to say it that i want to be able to do awsome airkicks before my leg gets chopped off.

Today i worked from 14.00-20.15. it was a pretty good day. The store Cervera was celebrating that they had bought Duka(another store/chain) so the Doughtry kid came over, since we're just across the hall in the mall, and brouhgt me some bbqed chicken and pork filé :) mmm, yummy! They also had balloons that popped all day. I can admit i got a little scared every time. Then a few customers later he came over with some candy, HA! what a great day at work.

When work was over with Alex came to pick me up with his car that he can drive now since he got his drivers license back yesterday when he tried doing the test that you have to do in an other town nearby, the town where both alex and i went to school; Västerås.

In a couple of weeks Therese is bringing 2 of her newly made friends from school. They're gonna do a thing for school called Praoa. You basically go to a , in their case, barber shop and work there for a week or two, it depends. Well, you do contact them first to see if its okay that you are coming.I do not know what this little dealio is called in english. soo, yea.. i reckon that should be fun. For Alex and I to have them here, and for them to be here with us to enjoy the amazingness of our being.


That sencense in the middle somewhere is very long, i am aware of that. I was of aware of it while writing it. I found it easier to just spit it all out at once.


uhm... so.. yup. We might get a cat. Evidently, My other cat back on the island almost died the other day. He got stuck i a bag of cheese while trying to steal it. He got really stiff and weird i heard. I dunno the whole story though, but i did hear he almost died.

Tomorrow after work alex and i are planning on doing something. im not sure what yet. drive somewhere to a store we could not reach the day before yesterday when he did not have a drivers license.

I miss playing the piano. I missed it a lot today.

Lycka till Älskling!

Imorgon kör alexander upp här i Esklistuna. Det kommer gå jättebra! det är jag helt säker på. dels för att han redan haft körkort... och för att han har övningskört massor med sina föräldrar. Så efter att han har klarat det så tar han tåget till Kvicksund för att hämta sin bil som stått där och väntat på honom sen studenten. Så jag kommer få skjuts till dansskolan imorn kväll när jag ska undervisa :) nice.

Idag hade vi on stage och det var skitkul ! ahh jag dör typ. Vill inte peka ut någon, men det har förbättrats så otroligt mycket sen förra terminen. Det är mycket som har blivit bättre sen i våras, men det finns fortfarande vissa "moment" som behöver tas hand om.

Så tack sofie för att du gjort eskilstuna dansskola så mycket bättre för mig och många, många andra!

Sen har vi ju Cecee som är ett stort tillskott!

Imorn ska jag jobba!
Jag blir rätt så rastlös när jag inte jobbar varje dag(som jag tyvärr har blivit van vid nu efter kursstarten).
Det ska bli superkul att se vad vi fått in för nya varor på shape! :) woho!

Godnatt!

Jag har varit hemma hela dagen. Jag städade lite. I badrummet, köket och vardagsrummet. Borde egentligen ha diskat.

Jag spydde igår morse. Vet inte varför. Jag spydde igen efter att jag hade cyklat till dansskolan, så jag hade bara en kurs. dom andra blev inställda. Jag ska ha dom på höstlovet istället. Jag deckade igår kväll ett tag efter att jag hade kommit hem.

Jag stod och lagade mat straxt innan sex. Då spydde jag igen. Jag skulle ha jobbat idag, men det blev inte så. Jag ska jobba imorgon, vet inte om det kommer att bli så.