sitting. waiting. wishing.

listening to Adele and feeling good.

The family is watching the hockey game. I am in the kitchen, listening to music.

Maybe i need to do something... maybe not. I feel different. Dont know how or why, but in some way different. It doesnt have to be a bad different... i am different. Different is good. i think... im not really sure anymore. Not really sure about much nowadays. Im just... just... (?)... nothing? everything? I am not sure anymore.
When i get the question; "how are you?" i answer; "im good! you?...", even though im not. Its just something you do! or i do. it has become a reflex - to respond with a positive answer, since it is the more pleasant alternative to get!
I believe i am lost in what i am doing at the moment. Most things feels medium, regular, and/or blah. Im floating in this story called "life". I want to walk, with firm steps! But, instead i float.

i need

• a haircut
• new shoes
• new make-up
• better nails
• a longer body to fit in longer clothes
• another job
• more money
• to work out more
• get to bed earlier than 3 am

i also need to take care of this stuff, but instead i float.